(The audio recording of this sermon will be uploaded here after the Sunday service.)
“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. and do not give the devil a foothold.”(Ephesians 4:26-27)
Why do we sometimes get very angry about small things? Big problems we accept calmly, but small things make us upset. What kind of feeling is this? Brothers and sisters, have you ever been very angry about small things? For example, you say hello to someone, but it seems like the person ignores you. Or you send a message, but the person does not read it. Or the person reads it but does not reply. Or your opinion or idea is not accepted.
In our daily life, these things happen very often. Most of the time we are not angry. But when we are in a certain situation or under stress, we can become very angry about these small things. At that moment we start to think like this:
“He thinks that I am not important.”
Or even, “He ignores me.”
Another time we get angry about small things is when our plans suddenly change, or when things do not go our way. We want things to happen the way we planned, but they do not.Why do we get angry then? One reason is that deep in our hearts we want to control everything. When that control is lost, we feel angry.
There is one more reason. We get very angry when things don’t go the way we expect. For example, it is a wife’s birthday, but her husband did not prepare a gift. Or he even forgot the date of her birthday. Her expectation is not met, and that makes her very upset.
In the morning, a wife wakes up early and carefully prepares breakfast. She does this every day. But the husband does not say, “Thank you.” Instead, he looks like the food is not good. Or he eats a few bites without saying anything. Then he just says, “I’m leaving,” and quickly goes out the door.
On the other hand, the husband goes to work for his family and his children. Outside the home, he faces a lot of stress. Sometimes he has to do work he does not even want to do. His boss may scold him. Buyers may complain. Customers may say very harsh things. Sometimes he even hears words like, “You are not capable,” “You have no skill,” or “Maybe you should quit your job.” Still, he works hard to earn money for his family.
But when he comes home, he does not hear, “You worked hard today,” or “Thank you.” Instead, he hears something like this: “The husband next door bought his wife an expensive bag for her birthday. What will you do for my birthday?” Or, “The husband next door got promoted this time.”
When someone hears words like these, anger slowly starts to rise in the heart. In truth, he just wanted to hear one simple sentence: “You worked hard this month.” But that expectation is broken. He feels very disappointed, but he doesn’t say a word. He just keeps quiet. What a sad situation this is!
Of course, if we have enough time and space in our lives—spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and even financially—these situations may not become big problems. Sometimes we may not feel angry at all.
But the story changes when we are very tired, very stressed, or burned out. Even the same words can feel much heavier. When we are already under pressure from many sides, a small comment can feel very big. Then a small word or action becomes a trigger. It is like pushing a red button. Suddenly, emotions explode in a moment.
Brothers and sisters, many people think that Japanese people do not get angry very often. From the outside, they look quiet and they are usually smiling. But Japanese people do get angry. They are human beings, too. Well, they just do not show their anger openly. Those of you who are Japanese here, isn’t that true?
Then when do Japanese people get angry? First, when someone does not keep a promise. Japanese people think time and promises are very important. So if someone is late or does not do the work they were given, they may feel that trust is broken.
Second, when someone causes trouble for others. In Japan there is a word “meiwaku (迷惑).” It means causing trouble or inconvenience to other people. So when someone speaks loudly in public or does not follow the rules, people may feel uncomfortable.
Third, when someone hurts their pride in front of others. Japanese people care a lot about harmony in relationships. So public criticism or embarrassing someone in front of others can be very difficult for them.
And finally, when someone does not do their part. In Japan, people believe each person should take responsibility for their own work. When someone pushes their work onto others, it can make people feel very disappointed and even angry.
In the Bible, there is a story of someone who got very angry about small things. Who do you think it was? Yes, that’s right. It was Jonah.
In Jonah 4:1, the Bible says, “But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry.” When the people of Nineveh repented, God did not send the disaster He had planned. But Jonah was not happy about this. Instead, he became angry.
What a strange scene this is. A prophet gets angry when people repent. He becomes upset when people are saved. It sounds very ironic.
Jonah was angry because God forgave Nineveh. But he became especially angry when the plant that gave him shade dried up. He even said to God, “It would be better for me to die than to live.” Imagine that. He said he wanted to die because one plant died. That plant was a very small thing. What is a plant, after all? Is that something worth dying for? But when Jonah lost his comfort, he became extremely angry.
From this story, we can see that Jonah had a very self-centered kind of faith. A self-centered faith is easily shaken, even by small discomforts. I believe that every anger has a reason. So why did Jonah become so angry? There must have been something that triggered him. The surprising reason was this: God was too merciful.
Jonah said to God, “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love…” (Jonah 4:2).
In fact, this confession is a praise. But Jonah uses that praise as the reason for his complaint. Jonah did not get angry because he did not know about God’s mercy. He knew it very well. That is why he ran away to Tarshish instead of going to Nineveh (Jonah 1). Jonah says, “I knew that if those people repented, God would forgive them.” That was exactly what Jonah did not want.
Jonah wanted the people of Nineveh to receive divine punishment. The reason was simple: Nineveh was Israel’s enemy. Nineveh was the capital of Assyria. Assyria was a cruel empire, and later it destroyed the northern kingdom of Israel. To Jonah, Nineveh was not just a foreign city. It was a national enemy. Jonah could not accept the idea that this enemy would not be destroyed but instead be forgiven.
Jonah wanted justice. But God showed mercy. Jonah thought, “They deserve to be punished.” But God said, “If they repent, I will let them live.” Jonah’s anger did not come from not knowing God’s character. It came from not being able to accept God’s character. Later, when the plant withers and dies, Jonah becomes angry again. Then God asks him, “Is it right for you to be angry?” (Jonah 4:4). In simple words, it means, “Is that really something to be angry about?” In the end, Jonah’s real problem was not Nineveh. It was his heart. His heart was uncomfortable with God’s mercy. He did not want his enemies to be saved. And he held tightly to his own idea of justice.
Brothers and sisters, it is normal to feel angry. But when anger starts to rise, the first thing we should do is not react. Take one deep breath. Like this. Just pausing for three seconds can lower the intensity of anger.
As you know from experience, when we get angry, words come out right away. Defensive words or words that attack the other person. The first step to calming anger is to stop talking. When we feel anger, we should do whatever we can to keep the words from coming out of our mouth.
Getting angry is like spitting into the wind—it comes back to you. In general, anger begins with a self-centered interpretation.So if something makes you angry this week, try this. First, cover your mouth so the words do not come out, and try to step away from your own interpretation of the situation. Then try to see it from God’s point of view.
Instead of thinking, “He ignores me.” or “He did that on purpose.” Try thinking like this: “Maybe I’m misunderstanding something.” “Maybe there is a reason they cannot talk about.” “Maybe this is a time when God is working in my life.”
In Ephesians 4:26-27, it says this: “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” The Bible does not say that anger itself is a sin. Anger is an emotion, just like sadness. But if we do not stop it, anger will carry us on its back and run full speed toward sin.
Also, we should not keep anger in our hearts. If it is hard to calm down right away, we should at least calm our anger before the sun goes down. The anger in our hearts needs to disappear. The phrase “before the sun goes down” means before the day ends. Even if we get angry, we should not carry that anger for more than a day. If we do, we give the devil a chance. And the devil will use that chance to lead us into sin.
When we are angry, we keep thinking again and again about why we are angry—
even though we do not meditate on God’s Word. Then we start thinking about how we can get back at the other person. If we keep on doing these things, trouble will eventually happen.
Finally, when anger begins to rise in your heart, stop what you are doing for a moment and lift your eyes to heaven. Look up to heaven and think deeply about the cross of Jesus Christ. This is because every problem in our life can be solved through the cross of Jesus Christ. Through the twelve hours of suffering that Jesus endured— especially the terrible pain He suffered on the cross— and through His death on the cross, every problem in our lives can be solved.
As we live our lives, unfair things happen to us. Sometimes we feel wronged. Sometimes our pride is hurt, and people treat us with disrespect.Unexpected things happen, and things do not turn out the way we hoped. Whenever that happens, I encourage you to look at the cross. Let us read Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”(Galatians 2:20)
We must look to the cross. And we must think deeply about the cross.We must nail our old self to the cross. Finally, let me read the Word that God has given us as I finish today’s message. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
(Hebrews 12:2)
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