(The audio recording of this sermon will be uploaded here after the Sunday service.)
Today, I want to talk about what we should do when there are misunderstandings, conflicts, and arguments in the church. Sometimes, there are problems between pastors and church members. Sometimes, there are problems between church members. Today, we will learn how to deal with these problems in a biblical way. In particular, we will take a close look at what the Apostle Paul did to restore his relationship with the Christians in Corinth.
First, let me explain the background of today’s passage. Paul planted the church in Corinth around AD 50 or 51, during his second missionary journey. He stayed in Corinth for one year and a half. During that time, he preached the gospel and built up the church. Throughout 2 Corinthians, Paul explains again and again how faithfully he preached the gospel and how much he loved the church. In 2 Corinthians 6:3–10, Paul talks about the hardships and troubles he faced while preaching the gospel. Then, in verses 11–13, he opens his heart and speaks honestly. What he is saying is something like this: “I have opened my heart wide to you. Then why have you closed your hearts to me?”
This was how Paul honestly felt about the Christians in Corinth. Now, let’s take a closer look at the problems between Paul and the church. Paul planted the church in Corinth. But some people did not accept his authority as an apostle or respect his ministry. In 2 Corinthians 10:10, we can see what some people said about Paul. Let me read this verse. “For some say, ‘His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.’” In other words, they were saying, “His writing might be good enough for a bestseller, but his speaking is nothing special!” They thought Paul was good at writing letters, but not very good at preaching in person. Also, in 2 Corinthians 11:4–6 and 12–15, we read about people who preached a different Jesus and a different gospel. Some of them even claimed to be apostles of Christ. They tried hard to weaken Paul’s authority and increase their own influence. They were even willing to do whatever it took to get what they wanted.
Now, let’s look at Paul’s visits to Corinth. From 2 Corinthians 2:1, 12:14, and 13:1, we can understand that Paul visited the church several times. In 2 Corinthians 2:1, Paul says that he did not want to visit them again. He did not want to cause them more sorrow. In 2 Corinthians 2:5–8, we also read about someone who caused Paul sorrow and hurt the church community. However, the Bible does not tell us exactly who this person was or exactly what happened. Paul had worked hard to build the church in Corinth. But later, he faced serious problems in his relationship with the church. His second visit seems to have been especially painful for him. During this time, the conflict between Paul and the church members may have become even worse. Understanding this background will help us understand today’s passage.
Now, let’s read today’s passage one verse at a time. As we do, we will learn how to deal with conflicts in a biblical way, both between pastors and church members and between church members themselves.
Let’s read 2 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 11 together. “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you.” Paul does not simply say, “Dear friends.” He calls them “Corinthians.” This way of speaking shows his love for them. Even though they had problems, Paul did not give up on them or ignore them. Instead, he called them by name and spoke to them from his heart.
Here, we can learn something about how Paul dealt with conflict. Even when a relationship becomes difficult, we should not simply give up on the other person. We should try to speak to them sincerely again. Amen? Amen! Amen! We should try to speak to them.
Then Paul says, “We have opened our hearts wide to you.” Notice the words “to you.” When we have a conflict with someone, we may not even want to look at that person. We may want to turn our faces away from them. That is a natural feeling when we are hurt or angry. But listen carefully. If we want to restore a relationship, the first thing we need to do is turn toward the other person. Amen! Amen! Then, like Paul, we need to open our mouths and speak. Even when we don’t feel like talking, we need to try. Paul speaks honestly to the Christians in Corinth. He does not hide his feelings. He tells them what he thinks and how he feels. And he honestly expresses how much he loves them.
When we turn toward the person we are having a conflict with, we can begin to speak. When we open our mouths, our closed hearts can begin to open. And when our hearts open wide, relationships can begin to heal. The Christians in Corinth misunderstood Paul and criticized him. But Paul did not stop loving them. He took the first step. He turned toward them. He opened his mouth. And he opened the door of his heart to them.
Brothers and sisters, do you open your hearts only to people who like you? What about people who have misunderstood you or hurt your feelings? Do you close your heart to them? Can you take the first step, like Paul, and open your heart to them? Can you honestly tell them how you feel? Paul did not just wait for the other people to change first. He took the first step. He opened his heart and honestly expressed his love. But let me make one thing clear. Opening your heart does not mean that you must accept everything someone does. It does not mean that you must stay in a harmful relationship. Paul shows us the importance of sincere love and the desire to restore a relationship.
Now, let’s read 2 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 12 together. “We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us.” Paul says that his heart is wide open to them, but their hearts have become narrow. What Paul is saying is something like this: “You are not being kept from my love. It is not that I have closed my heart to you. My love for you has not changed. The problem is that your hearts have become narrow, and you are having trouble accepting my love and trust.”
This does not simply mean that the Christians in Corinth were shy or quiet people. Rather, their hearts had become narrow because of their doubts about Paul, their misunderstandings, and the conflict between them. When our hearts are closed, we may not hear what another person is really saying. Even when someone speaks sincerely, we may doubt them. Even when someone shows us love, we may think they have another reason for doing so. Of course, we should not assume that every problem was the fault of the Christians in Corinth. Paul’s main point here is that he has opened his heart to them and wants them to open their hearts, too.
Brothers and sisters, let me give you an example. Imagine that a friend says hello to you. But you have been hurt by that friend before. You might think: “Why is this person saying hello to me all of a sudden? Do they want something from me?” Even when your friend tries to come closer to you, you may find it hard to accept their kindness if your heart is closed. The same thing can happen with your parents. Your parents may be trying to help you because they care about you. But if your heart is closed, all you hear is nagging.
So here is an important question: “Does this person really not love me? Or is my heart so closed that I cannot accept their love?” Of course, the other person may really have done something wrong. I am not saying that every problem is your fault. But we need to take a look at our own hearts. We need to ask ourselves if we are holding on to misunderstandings or unfair ideas about the other person.
Finally, let’s read verse 13. “Now, as a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.” Paul speaks to the Christians in Corinth as a spiritual father. In 1 Corinthians 4:15, Paul also says that he became their father through the gospel. Paul is not simply trying to use his authority to tell them what to do. He is speaking with the heart of a father who loves his children. Paul did not want to give up on the church in Corinth. He wanted to restore his relationship with them. He was not asking them to do exactly what he had done. He wanted them to open their hearts and respond to the sincere love he had shown them. So, what kind of response did Paul want from the Christians in Corinth? “Open wide your hearts also!” That’s right! Paul had opened his heart to them. Now he was asking them to open their hearts to him, too.
Let me close my sermon with this. Who have you closed your heart to? Is there someone who is sincerely trying to reach out to you, but you cannot accept their love because your heart is closed? Brothers and sisters, when a relationship goes wrong, we usually wait for the other person to change first. We say things like: “If that person apologizes first, then I’ll forgive them.” “If that person comes to me first, then I’ll talk to them.”
But what did Paul do? He opened his heart even to people who misunderstood him and criticized him. And he encouraged them to open their hearts, too. Of course, this does not mean that we should accept every wrong thing someone does. But we should not close our hearts because of hatred or unfair judgments about others. Now, turn to the person next to you, or the person behind you, and say this: “I have opened my heart wide. Now, you open your heart wide, too!” Let us pray.
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